I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
