Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
