Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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