Plan B is the new Plan A
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
