Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
