Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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