i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Come on in and take your pants off
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