Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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