She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I checked into jail on foursquare
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
