All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
