btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How naked do you want me to be?
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