there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fuck appropriateness.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
