I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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