She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
