I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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