I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
