So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize