This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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