you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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