New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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