i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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