I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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