the condom got lost in my hair
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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