Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
