its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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