im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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