We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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