....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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