the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
they're like a gay fantastic four
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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