Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize