There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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