I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
