At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.