New low: just hacked my moms facebook
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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