Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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