Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
