That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
