So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
