Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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