It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
