I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you traded sex for a burrito?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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