She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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