You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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