Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
