No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
