Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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