i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
