i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
