i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think brook has ever known best
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
