There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
