I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize