Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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