we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
