I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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