even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
