Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i out mim tonsoeep
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
