I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
