Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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