He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My ATM looks so different sober.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
