if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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