I accidentally had phone sex last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.