I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!