I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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