he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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