I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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