Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize