He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
