Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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