His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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