But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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