FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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